U know the joke about valentine's day?

It goes something like "Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Valentine"

"Valentine who?"

Silence.


I know its not funny right? Well it never intended to be. There will be no "Who" or "whom" for me this year. U know what the depressing part is? I will no be getting any bouquet this year! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Those who think valentines day is a marketing gimmick I beg to differ. It's a day when guys are FORCED to treat us ladies with respect, shower us with gifts and an all expense paid day. That includes dinner, drinks, shopping, taxi (cuz u cant carry a bouquet in the bus or mrt right? It'll be all squashed!) and also hugs and cuddles and kisses and soooo many more. Im no sucker of course but u think lah these kinda things doesn’t happen to mortals like me all the time. It seems that one special day of the year, almost all human became xtra sensitive and xtra nice! Especially boyfriends or else they face the wrath of jealous girlfriends. FORCED? So what? Just call me a sadist but at least I have the dinner to make me sleep at nyte! SATISFIED. Haha.

So the joke falls on me this year. No date and extremely broke. Im honestly annoyed that walter have to be in camp on that day instead. Although I may NOT look like I am but I REALLY REALLY AM ! I loved what we did last year. So touched when he made me the first handmade gift. Half a dozen of white lilies and a love song dedication at Harry's Bar made the topping even more sweeter. Dreamingly......sigh......

***SNAP BACK TO REALITY ZAN***

Whatever it is we made a pact not to celebrate it this year. Just like Christmas. Just like New Year. I think celebrating it a week earlier or later are just not the same.

On Tuesday, February 14, 2006, Valentine's day, u will never spot Zan at the following places:

-Esplanade
-Orchard
-night safari
-sentosa
-botanical gardens
-Suntec (couples tend to hang out there)
-All cinemas in Singapore
-all beaches in Singapore
-Public transport. (I will be wearing shades. Im allergic to the sight of couples with bouquet of flowers acting all lovey-dovey.)


Till then do not buy me flowers cuz u pity me. Im not dead yet.

Me took this pix off xiaxue's blog.

Im fuming mad jealous over her bling bling makes me blind hp. aarghh..and she got it done for free?!?

haha my phone have scratches and dents and bumps and everything that is to uglify a phone. Blame me for my lack of care and my buttery fingers. Everything i touch literary turns to ash! HAH!

Nonetheless i love my phone to bits! Afterall its my dream phone...like everything else even though it ugly its still my baby k!

Till then...im saving up to have mine decorated too...any donations will be gratefully accepted! ;)

Yearn turns to Anger, Anger turns to Hate.

I have a confession; I suck at being a half Chinese. Being born and bred half-half isnt as merry-merry as it should be. My friends keep saying wah im so lucky and stuff but to me its all shit! Do I embrace my Chinese roots? Hell yeah but my parents (esp mum!) seems to be ashamed of it. She said Chinese people do this lah Chinese people do that lah all the bull she dun believe. Eh coming out of her own cheena mouth. Partially embarrassing and hilarious I gotta admit. Lol. Needless to say I dont know Jack about Chinese customs.

My "reunion dinner" was a bowl of fried noodles. Shared with walter. Filled with taugeh. AArrgh! I detest taugeh! More than Zhang Zi Yi! Or Zi Yi Zhang!
Babe if u wanna do the American thing, pick an American name lah. Like Jessica/Kate/Ashlee Zhang or something. Bleurgh!

Blah Blah blah so I believe/assume everyone have already known or understand how dysfunctional my family is so I do not wanna tax anyone by repeating what i have said last year abt Chinese New Year. To recap, last year and this year its STILL the same!! Im still angst im still broke. (oh btw I think Chinese ppl are more generous with their ang pows! True right?)

So on behalf of my family, I wanna wish all Chinese out there a happy prosperous new year. And when I mean prosperous I mean earning big bucks by means of work or lottery (they deserves it, all the queue and endless disappointments! hehe!)
And then share the love....................................

"western beauty" - Marcia Cross

VERSUS


"oriental charm" - Gong li

Both women in her 40s. Still gorgeous still talented. Bree has always been my fav desperate housewife. what a waste she didnt won any award despite being nominated cuz she deserves one. Be my mummy Bree?!?!?!?!?!?!

Gong li has been around for years but me never ever took notice of her. However after seeing her in Memoirs i was enchanted. By her beauty and her acting skills of course! She's the epitome of a physicotic (right spelling??) bitch! haha. Be my mentor Hatsumomo!?!??!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/?v=iQLm6YMBuPM

ok guys check this out! its a lil m18 but there is moral behind the story ok! it may take a while to download but it all worth it!

enjoy!

Zan feeling satisfied after eating a feast at Ghandi's! Yum yum....









so trigger-happy me took this at Little India. It was the opening of Apollo restaurant new branch...there was a mile long (haha well it looks like it) of congratulatory flowers outside the restaurant. There must be some very happy florist out there! haha...ka-ching!

Ritz apple strudel for dessert!!! The strawberry's equally delicious!!!

so at nyte we had a wonderful dinner under the stars!!! haha...ok we actually went to bishan park to eat maggie for dinner..walter had these camp stuff he got from ns...haha...so we decided it'll be undeniably romantic to eat like cavemen..haha...survival ok!!!








haha me trying to light up the fire..aaarghhh...i think if i join survivor i'll confirm die from starvation...

after dinner we played sparklers and i felt i was transported back to the days when im still young and there is nothing in the world i won't do to trade back my youth.......sigh..........

Fark my school's on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha...kidding lah....it was a fire drill and it came with faux smoke and all that jazz...its actually quite fun lah cuz we did all the works thats needed to make the fire so believable so we screamed and screamed and packed our bags and ran for our dear life!! haha....well something like that lah....so among all the drama i had the time(like always) to take this beautiful pix of Becky! haha..and since we've already packed our bags our tutor actually dismissed us for the day! hah! sweet!

so here's what happened a few days ago which made me feel really guilty.

i was at the bus interchange waiting for my bus when i saw her. (no...not the other HER estar! haha) She was a close friend of mine in secondary school. Were very close for 3 years when we eventually move away from each other. I didnt fancy her lifestyle then and till now i dun. I shall call her R. here if i may ya. So what happened was i didnt saw her initially so i sat at this sit beside her. When i eventually did recognize her, she saw me too and i think she gave me a faint smile. i gave her a weird look and turn my head away. i was too shocked for words. i didnt turn back and i totally ignore her the entire ride. i could sense her awkwardness but i could not even muster a "Hello how are you"....

aaaarghhh...what am i supposed to do then? we didnt fight and break up..we just went our seperate ways naturally. last i heard she got married and had a baby...its not that im like so proud or wat but it just seemed so hard to even ask her how her life is u know? we had a past...maybe the past just stays in the past ya?
however this does not stopped me from feeling extremely ashamed of myself.

here's my 2 cents worth on this movie;

I went to the movie with high expectation as im a fan of Jennifer Weiner (author of the book of the same name). However it all fall flat. The movie is too long and whiney and the actors are not expressive enough. Who said Diaz can act? humphh! Its like Jennifer Aniston in Derailed. Stick to ur day job and just make us laugh babes. Oh did i mention Diaz has a great body? sigh...those who just wanna watch her half naked most of the time i strongly recommend this show. The only saving grace of the show is by this old granny whom i dunno the name. No not their grandma lah. Its this bitchy granny...she's the one with great one-liners! hah...

If ur gonna pay $19 to watch the movie like i did then just buy the book lah.

2.5/5 popcorns. (1 for the bitchy nenek, 1 for the script, 0.5 for the showcase of hundreds of amazing shoes..)

a new year a new start eh!!

what fantabulous ride i've been thru the past few months.
sch's great me results not bad.
still broke still angst.
what made me start doing me blog again?
lets just say i have many friends on the web.
i want UPDATES and i wanna give them my updates.
i miss them lah.........
(yes my NP gangbang...haha...)

Keep in touch yeah!!!

=)

Went to some Indo restaurant yesterday cuz it was my gram's 69th birthday. So finally after many years my family actually sat down and had dinner together in the proper manner. Felt pretty weird lah having to share food with everyone blah blah. I feel like im sinking into isolation day by day. Firstly, I found out that I hate family dinner. I hate sharing a dish with so many people. Let me get this straight, Zan does not share food. Only when she offers then u are eligible otherwise u are not encouraged. This applies with drinks. Ya ya u guys can say all things about me but im just like that k. Then I found out that I hate birthdays. Its farking overrated. I think people who celebrate it are people who’s ego are as huge as the universe cuz it is an excuse for them to behave like some freaking emperor. They just want people to worship them and wanna hear compliments abt them. Haha shameless...

Hmm...I think I stepped over the line here ya...shut up before u get into any more trouble Zan...

For me, birthdays are to commemorate mothers all over the world. My mum had to tahan 10 months of me in her womb, excruciating labour pains and subsequently the torture of giving birth. So on my birthday, it does not belong to me, but to my mum.

Bitchiness aside, the only good thing that comes out of birthdays are the fresh cream birthday cakes. Hahaha...

OMG did I just saw Jon Jonsson on TV again? He's in that Villa Wellness programme!! Saw the damn trailer about prince charming blah blah... and he's in a bath tub with those girls..with his top off!! DAMN DAMN DAMN...why the hell didn't I know about the audition for this show? It's all about fat girls losing weight right? Hello!...IM FAT!!! I WANNA JOIN THE SHOW AND BE IN A BATHTUB WITH JON JONSSON!!!

Aaaargh...ok maybe not lah...I'll wear my clothes cuz if he sees Zan in a bikini he'll go blind...
haha...in a bad way lah of course...and I dun want him to go blind...I want him to see me...U know what I'll say to him if he ever see me?...I want to look into his eyes and say "You are the epitome of beautiful" and "If I am ever gonna lose my eyesight, the last portrait I'll draw is yours…"
( Actually a month ago if u ask me this qn what if I go blind I'll ans that I'll draw walter's face. But now...no way am I ever gonna draw him again...hmmph...)

Ok I just watched an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Joey uses a Thesaurus to make his letter look more cheem. Very hilarious I tell ya. And since im bored out of my wits I decided to play with the Thesaurus in Microsoft words.

Original text:

Zan had a rough day today. All she did was eat and sleep and wander around the house. It was very stressful for her as she kept thinking what she has to do next. In the end she decided to clean the house, do her homework, nag at her brothers and finally go day-dreaming.


Thesaurus text:

Zan had a brutal time today. Entirely she did was gobble and have forty winks and digress on all sides of the domicile. It was vastly taxing for her as she kept accepted wisdom what she has to do subsequently. Ultimately she unequivocal to immaculate the abode, execute her grounding, plague at her brothers afterward irrevocably go vagueness.


Haha its really fun though it doesn’t really made sense!!! Recommended for people who are REAALLLY bored.

BANG im dead!

Wah finally had my hair cut. Damn intense lah cuz me really wanted to do bangs but the condition of my hair are not suitable so I pondered for months. In the end I gave in cuz I couldn’t stand my current one anymore. Actually my classmate was the one who gave me the push when she asked me how long had I had my hairstyle and I realized that its been THREE bloody long years. I need a change, just like Jude Law!

People, please be a dear when u meet me on the streets and when u see my new do. Even if it looks bloody hilarious try not to laugh like there’s no tmw k. Read my previous post if u ask why.

So I gave him the present liao. Sad to say he did not like it. I meant, he did not said it openly but he did not said he like it either. Neither did he said he loves it nor said it is the sincerest, thoughtful gift he had ever received. The reaction was hearty laughters (yes he laughed so long even) and he even said that the portrait did not look like him. Not even close. Needless to say I was crushed. Never had I put in so much effort for a gift and those are the responses? To think the many drafts and ideas and hrs/weeks of preparing all went down the drain. At least lie lah. The disgusted face was pretty obvious. Worse was when he start criticizing. He has the cheek to ask me to draw him again during my third year and compare. What the fark right. Indirectly he is saying im lousy and unprofessional. Even worse was he showed me a black/white portrait of him taken in those machines and said if I do it exactly like that then nice. Lagi-lagi worse is he said wasted he never show it to me earlier then I can steal it and draw the replica and he pretend he doesn’t know. U tell me how I dun feel insulted and embarrassed and stupid. There are more but im too wasted to type.

Different artists do different things to a similar object k. So what if mine does not portray a perfect mirror image of him? In my eyes he looks like that. My interpretation of him is different from a machine. Im human and I see his flaws and perfections and that is how I draw.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Stupid but nonetheless true. Since he did not respect and appreciate it, I took it back. That is the only way I can have my ego returned. With promises of a normal, better gift. And of course after I tear up and told him I might throw it away, he begged that he wants it back now. But how could I? It is obvious he did it out of sympathy. So I stood firm and brought it home. Funny how heavy it felt when I carried it back. Where will it go now? Lets just say it is now stashed secretly in a dark corner of my wardrobe where it will never again see the light of day.

I had forgiven him but this will never be forgotten.

So yesterday I took a cab from yishun to ang mo kio to send walter the bbq things and I've been very "fortunate" to met this really "pantang" driver. As u all know it's the Hungry Ghost Festival and from the mouth of the donkey, "This is the month where the hell gates open and all the spirits are allowed to wander". U know, like a holiday or something. Then my bloody mouth have to tell him that Singapore must be pretty damn crowded lah for the spirits cuz its damn small and millions have died since the evolution of mankind. Then I continued by saying maybe they went overseas lah where the grass is greener and the plane ticket is free. WRONG MOVE ZAN!!! WRONG MOVE!!!

He began to then yap about why I must believe that this festival is ALL REAL and that he had friends of friends of friends of the uncle cousin dog owner thingy who had experienced some sort of poltergeist shit. Ok ok it is all scary so please shut the fark up. What makes it worse was he began saying things like," Its Hungry Ghost Festival and u guys can still bbq? U know people will be praying and the soot of the burning papers will likely kena the bbq food. And u know ah Chinese believes that blah blah blah blah...oh so here is ur destination...better tell ur friend to pray ah for the wandering ghosts...so it'll be $7.20 please...remember ok must respect...."

That's when im already out of the cab and had slam the door shut. Brrr...wonder which is scarier...ghosts or bitching taxi drivers.

this is the phone that me bro just got. A black motorola V3. Im jealous like shit now. It's such a "WOW" phone. But where am i gonna get $538?!?!?! U know how he got the money? From charity..the sch gave him $1000 to help him with his studies but he used it to get himself a damn nice bling. Lucky bitch......

Whats up with birthdays?!?
Today is my mum 56th birthday...yup she is old...funny how people always think that im the youngest in the family when in fact im the oldest when they look at my mum and dad...this is what happens if u start a family at 36 years old..hmmm......NAH!
Walter's birthday is tmw and i screwed up his present...haha...Zan when ur not an artist ur not an artist..no point forcing urself to be one....and boy am i regretting this....now i have no present and equally no cash...perfecto!

Gosh im getting worse with this blog thingy....absolutely no aim ..no direction....nothing to say...nothing to bitch.....oh my god im getting BORING! haha....

Bitch...hmm...bitch....so far so good im very contented with my life. Im actually pretty happy right now...currently doing fine in me studies..blah..blah....

Oh u know weijian (the ex-president of NP song-composing club) is in the semi-finals...im so happy for him...he's really talented and i think he'll go far in this industry. So people VOTE for him....

This is it! I soooo totally need to buck up with my blog posts....people like Xiaxue and co. are totally getting naked and getting more fans....Me? U guys wanna see me with me clothes off?!?! HAHA..not a chance people...bleurgh....

be back sooooon......