im so damn freaking farking exhausted i tell ya....assignments after assignments aaarghhh its even worse than NP im telling ya. Its costlier also...spent tens of dollars min for every project..haha..im accelerating to bankruptcy!!!

yes so tmw's my so called 21st bdae. Honestly the hype has gone down as my mood is not very good these few days. Too tired lah to think of a celebration and too broke to have one. hiya its just a birthday anyway. So me in sch now going shopping with mum later. she's gonna buy me a jewellery. initially she wanted to buy a gold one but i think its too tacky lah so i suggest we go perlini silver lorz. maybe i can psycho her buy me some tops from topshop and dorothy perkins which is nearby! haha....

ok if u guys wanna know, here's my wishlist for this year:

1. To suddenly see thousands of dollars in my bank magically!!!

2. To lose weight! haha...working on it!

3. May all my friends and family be healthy and happy for the entire year!!!

4. May Walter have more nights off! haha...

5. Oh and may my parent's business do well so i can finally ask for more money! haha...

6. Good grades!!!! .....No..... GREAT grades!!!!

Yup thats all...now who says Zan is such a materialistic bitch huh! =)

Im looking forward to rub shoulders with the many models, celebs, designers etc in the upcoming fshion festival.
Jon jonsson especially cuz my bdae wish last year was to get a hug and it wasnt fulfilled. So....this year im GETTING my wish okay! hohoho....well in his blog he claims that he's coming mid march so obvious lah he's attending the SFF...but i do hope i eventually bump into him cuz im only volunteering 5 out of the 10 days. thats a 50% chance eh..haha..whatever!

Hi-Fat Low-Life

im sick and tired of people saying i've gained weight blah blah blah... u people stupid or what i have mirrors at home okay i know i gained the pounds so u people dun have to rub salt in my wounds by reminding me...This is IT! im sick im sick im sick whats wrong with being overweight?!?! HUH is it a sin?!?! Did we suffocate the rajaratnam guy by sitting on him?!?! did we eat ur dinners that u dun have dinners to eat?!?! why do we get all the crap?!?!? aargh..

im trying my best to stick to my routine of eating my basic 3 meals a day. food does not interest me anymore....i can eat just one meal and be contented. i think eating is a waste of time which i rather sleep or do my work which seems neverending. Im no anorexic or bulimic or any of those eating disorder thing ok so stop pestering me to eat more after saying im FAT! it doesnt help.

im sick and tired of finding clothes in spore that doesnt fit. everythings like XXXSSS or something. u expect my ass to squeeze into an M? thats like squeezing an elephant into Kate Moss's dress. IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

i know i need to exercise. i think i do regular walks. does walking 1/2hr a day everday considered exercise? i dunno...i know i love long walks...i thought if i eat less i can burn less right? apparently its not enough darling....mystically some Fat genie did their magic wand on me when im asleep cuz babe i have NO IDEA where the pounds come from.

So the moral of the story is...im gonna start exercising!!! Running and running and running. My goal is to lose at least 5kg and subsequently another 5kg in this year alone! HAH! in the meantime im sticking to my no-food diet and we shall see who wins! DOUBLE HAH!!!!

Attention to all who wishes to VOLUNTEER (i.e. unpaid worker) for the Singapore Fashion Festival 2006.

Ok since im too lazy to type I shall copy and paste the infos I have.


Singapore Fashion Festival 2006 (FF06) Brought to you by Singapore Tourism Board
24 March - 2 April 2006
The Tent at Ngee Ann City


THE MOST EXCITING FASHION FESTIVAL IN ASIA FOR INTERNATIONAL AND LOCAL SINGAPORE DESIGNERS, RETAILERS AND THE PUBLIC AT LARGE

Introduction
Asia Pacific's most exciting fashion festival in Asia for international and local Singapore designers, retailers and the public at large is ready to dress up the region from 24 March to 2 April 2006. Building on the last year's success, organizers expect in excess of 50 events to be scheduled. It will boast an enthralling and eclectic range of events featuring the best trend-setting looks from high-end designers and local labels to international fashion brands.

The Festival also offers tourists and Singaporeans a stunning world-class fashion experience, with a purpose-built tent venue that will be located at Ngee Ann City's Civic Plaza. This will once again become the Festival's 'Fashion Central' and will be equipped with an arrivals foyer, photographers' pit and an international media centre, all to facilitate trend-setting grand galas through to intimate salon shows.

From catching the latest trends hot off the Spring Summer catwalks of the world to new fashion inspirations and the chance to purchase these new looks, the Festival has established itself as a major event in the calendars of influential retailers, brand owners, fashion insiders, the press and shoppers at large. The schedule of collection shows will showcase the latest Spring Summer 2006 looks and other "must-haves" of the season. There will be a particular emphasis on showcasing ranges from luxury designer brands, cult & "underground" fashion names with international reputations to high-street fashion, emerging designer labels and regional/Singapore designers.



Singapore Fashion Festival 2006
Volunteer Program

JOB OUTLINE
1. Pre-Production and Backstage Production
This role requires people who have strong interests in event production/ fashion show production/ styling. We will need volunteers to work directly with show production staff/ designers/ brand managers/ stylists etc. The time commitment will depend on which show you are working on and when you are available. It will require more time commitment than any other role, and volunteers will be required from the March 14 - April 3.

Full training will be provided.


2. Dressers

This role involves working backstage before/during and after the fashion shows. It involves dressing the models, assisting in pre-show production and post-show pack up. This is a crucial role, and the time commitment will be for no less than 2 of the 10 show days (between March 23 - April 2). You can nominate 1/2 days if necessary.

Full training will be provided.


3. Ushers

This role is concerned primarily with Front of House operations. Ushers will be required to assist guests to their seats, assist in room turnaround, and to be a public representation of the Festival.

What do you get?
Each volunteer will receive a free SFF T-Shirt, and will be provided with complimentary daily meals. All volunteers stand a chance to win prizes at the Volunteers Appreciation Party at the end of the Festival.


Im participating! Woohoo!! Those interested can go to their website or ask me to email u the form. Im gonna ask for dresser cuz im sick of doing Pre-Production and Backstage Production stuff all the time. Moreover im using the chance to be surrounded by beautiful models in the same room as me!!! Casanova doesnt even stand close! Haha.

Speaking of models, this particular model named Lily Cole will be coming to Singapore. Okay if u guys read fashion magazines like the bible then u can DEFINITELY recognized her. She's like everywhere lorz. Something like the next Kate Moss but to me is more prettier. So im gonna watch out for her. Cant wait!



Lily Cole and Gemma Ward. Gemma ward is i think more prettier lah. Both have the ethereal look and appears like they just jumped out of a reinassance painting to the 21st century!

I kinda like the ferry/ship lights. Its very enchanting. Especially when im at the esplanade where I can stare at those light-up cute lil bum boats for hours at end. Haha. This is taken in East coast though....

Look what I made these poor fellas do! Volunteered to strip naked for Madame Zan! Where's my whip when I need them eh? Woohoo.....I think I should set up a cabaret for men in Singapore. I'll surely be rich! Most importantly I'll make them wear masks cuz no offence but Singaporean men are no good lookers! Haha. Its all flesh parade and sky high sex quotient! YEAH BABY!!

Madame Zan is proud to declare that the very sexy very hunky male second on the right is all hers and hers alone!! He's her toy and is not available for rent! So see but no touch okay!

p.s- I've got really graphic aka half naked pics of camp boys in their underwear. Haha walter took them when he's in camp. I'll post them up asap so u ladies can drool over. If it doesn't work, then there's still jon jonsson.........................

"Rose among Thorns"

Ok this is my theme for the turf club competition. Duh the name itself describes what i based my garment upon. Took me more than 3 hrs yesterday to finish up my draft, design components, model and colours. Aargh..so much effort made...last minute work really sucks when the deadline is today! haha...

Ok estar these are the designs of my dress. haha i know its COMPLETELY different from what we discussed and what i initially wanted. yeah and the "song kok" hat with lace i totally axed. Cuz i found out many of my classmates doing the same type of design so i did something different. Sigh...i came to class and to my dismay i saw really fantastic designs from my classmates and even from other classes. somemore we supposed to do accesories which i did not do...double double sigh... so i think my chances of winning or even be in the top 15 is a definite NIL. haha..

Brief description of garment: A wrap satin or polyester dress. Bustier and the fabric will be tightly wrapped at the nape of the waist. It will be cinched to a bouquet of folded roses and with sunburst pleats cascading at the back and peek-a-boo at the front.
I know its supposed to look lime green at the bustier and maroon/hot-pink with the skirt but my colouring skills not very good lah. Somemore cant afford to use the markers which costs $5.50 a pop. so just use colour pencils lorz...the effects not so good leh but bo pian...

Estar yes this is the "hat"! haha...its like a dark choco brown butterfly with "thorns" all over the head. its not really like a hat lah more like a hairband as its wrapped with a string around the forehead. aiyah whatever lah....

a close up look at the hat. my handphone pixels not so good so all the pix kinda blurry.. the model has the "Avril Lavigne" eyeshadow! haha....

U guys wanna join there's still time?!!! Just draw a garment with following descriptions like i did and come out with a theme. Can be for either sexes. Fully accessorize. Equine-related. Its open to public. CLOSING DATE: 20 Feb 2006 at 6:00pm.

15 will be shortlisted. Those shortlisted will be given a budget of $400 as allowance for materials.

Ist prize- $1200, a cert and a pair of return economy tickets to paris by singapore airlines.

2nd prize- $800+ cert

3rd prize- $500 + cert

4th-15th prize- $200 (x12) + cert

any of u guys interested and done ur work just pass it to me lah and i'll help u pass it to my sch. I know its juz around the corner but u can do it over the weekends... Estar u try lah i lend u my colour pencils..haha...u'll never know lorz....

I made a sizeable mistake by catching the movie Casanova.

Not even the ultra-hot Heath Ledger could save this movie. Aargh I wasted my precious 7 bucks on something that was SUPPOSED to ENTERTAIN me but instead bore me to tears. I was expecting sex sex and more sex (hello he's the famous Casanova leh who claimed he bunked god knows how many hundred babes). Naked ladies and boobies and all that jazz u know. Instead there were lame dialogues and even more lame acting. Sienna Miller should just quit acting lah and keep her day job. That is posing on the red carpet is what she does best. Like a more chic Bai Ling. The end of the movie brought such sweet release to an extremely mind-numbing conclusion. Very predictable.

p.s- I know friends told me im quite harsh when I pass judgment on a movie. But hey, I have watched hundreds or even thousands of films under my belt so I know my "good" and "bad". So trust me k! haha.
Now I wanna mention the reason for my presence to this movie. HEATH LEDGER!!!!!!! Had a crush on him several years back when he acted in the movie "10 things I hate abt you". He's the macho brooding good looker and his presence begged me to harbor a serious infatuation then. Ok that movie not so nice lah. Just like Knight's Tale. Erm actually even "The Brothers Grimm". But hey its not wrong to drool over him right? Whatever it is, he's in my top ten list of guys to date for my Plan B. And im gonna go watch Brokeback mountain one of these days. I think man-on-man action is really HOT. Haha I confess, I think Gay men are SEXY SEXY SEXY. But NEVER Elton John k! haha. So look out for my review on Brokeback.

(p.s- Its R21 that movie and im 21 only in march so I guess Im just gonna sneak in! hehe.)

That sneaky rat

I just found out this piece of fascinating news from dad. He believed that my aunt's maid have been subtly stolen money from my aunt. Initially she didnt suspect someone stole her cash cuz she thought she have misplaced them. Then one day my dad said she put a whole wad of cash like 2000 plus in her drawers and the next day she found out that 200 bucks were like lost!!! She then began to suspect the maid when my other aunt (who the maid lives with) complains of missing money too. Because so obvious the only 2 people who often wander around my aunt's room is my grandma and that sneaky rat! Adding to the fact that my grandma actually searched the maid's pants secretly and found out $20 dollars folded into small pieces tucked in a hidden pocket! Haha drama right?!

Ok this is funny k! so my aunts and uncle and grandma and practically the entire household began to form a devious plan to capture the maid red-handed! What they did was they set a mouse trap. They purposely put $240 in my aunt's drawers and had their serial numbers written down. Now they are waiting for their bait! Haha..my dad said if she didn't take it today my aunt will put in MORE cash to tempt her! Haha. I cant wait to hear the updates from my dad! So far my aunt roughly calculated that the maid had stolen $400 plus from her liao. This bitch shall be deported immediately to wherever she comes from man if she were caught!
Karma do your work!

HOORAY I'VE SURVIVED VALENTINE's DAY ALONE!!!!

the day started really bad yesterday. Not enough sleep cuz of assignments, stress cuz deadlines is around the goddamn corner and most suckily, all alone on V-day. (yes yes zan is still upset..but hey! i survived it ain't i so here's a pat on my bacK!) anyways, the first thing when i reached my class i was greeted so cheerfully by me classmates and they started handing each other sweets and chocs etc. Wah love is definitely in the air babe! embarrassed me came empty handed. so that kinda suck.

Then sewing was a torture. Sew unpick sew unpick. AAARGGHHH...bloody hell can never get sewing right. I embarrassed my parents as they apparently are very good tailors! yes they opened a fashionhouse before in Queensway shopping centre (then the place was super hip cuz there's only a few shopping centres in singapore). Apparently they self proclaimed they are good so hah the genes definitely stops here!!! However sadly for them due to mass production and cheap exports to retail outlets and departmental stores they are forced to close down.

okok back to topic. yesterday i was sitting down in the bus and this woman carrying a HUGE bouquet of roses was standing beside me and her BL:OODY flowers are Farking IN MY FACE LOR!!! aaargghhh....i almost nauseated.

shucks i gotta go cuz my fren wanna eat luch and go liao..goddamnit i'll continue later.

Oh my god ok I have got so much to crap about:

First things first, its an overdue HAPPY BIRTHDAY HADDAD! Hehe. 20th huh? Not a teenager anymore eh. So I wish ya all the best in ur studies and may all ur wishes come true. And may you and debs live happily ever after! So you better take good care of Debs or else! (Zan tighten her fist) haha.
Oh btw his sis place was F@$%#*king cool lah. So jealous u guys went in the Jacuzzi after I left! Penthouse ok! After seeing the place it makes me more determined to work my ass off to afford a crib like that. My goal is by the time I reach 30 I MUST have my own house. Either that or marry a BLOODY RICH old dying man with a handsome son. You know, take the old man's money and scandal with the son. Geddit? Haha. No joke babe.
Debs/ Cheryl I want the candid pix leh. Got reach 1000 this time anort? Lol. Post it up ur blogs or friendster so I can copy and paste hehe. Eh next time I wanna join u guys if u wanna slack at penthouse again hahaha. This time round no more bbqs, just order pizza or Mac cuz dun wanna wait 3 hrs for dinner again! Haha.

Next I would like to comment on the Torino Olympic figure skating thingy. Im burning my nights off watching them as they starts at 2am and ends ard 5plus. Why so motivated? Lets just say watching handsome (well most of them anyways) men in tights makes all my dreams to reality! Haha. I envy their flexibility sia. Spins, jumps, dance sequence, steps all looks so confusing and tough. I remember that one time me siblings and cousins and I would go to Jurong east skating rink week after week after week without fail. Not that I became an expert or anything. It just feels so free to skate or even bike. With the wind blowing my hair, its like im flying or something. Remember estar we went skating with Bee and iqbal in pri 6 or something? Haha that was fun I remember till now leh. I remember also paying so much money to the jukebox so I can skate to the sounds of Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys! Haha those were the days huh. Anyway back to the main topic. Guys in tights. Yes I find them extremely sexy next to thongs. You know what they say abt men who can stretch eh. Hehe. Dirty me. But of course lah they must have the right physique or else they look like stuffed turkey haha! Oh and too much crystals on tights makes them look like dancing Christmas trees!

Ok actually I wanna bitch more abt my sch but cant cuz me need to do me work.

Out for now. And enjoy the pix cuz i sure did! haha...

U know the joke about valentine's day?

It goes something like "Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Valentine"

"Valentine who?"

Silence.


I know its not funny right? Well it never intended to be. There will be no "Who" or "whom" for me this year. U know what the depressing part is? I will no be getting any bouquet this year! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Those who think valentines day is a marketing gimmick I beg to differ. It's a day when guys are FORCED to treat us ladies with respect, shower us with gifts and an all expense paid day. That includes dinner, drinks, shopping, taxi (cuz u cant carry a bouquet in the bus or mrt right? It'll be all squashed!) and also hugs and cuddles and kisses and soooo many more. Im no sucker of course but u think lah these kinda things doesn’t happen to mortals like me all the time. It seems that one special day of the year, almost all human became xtra sensitive and xtra nice! Especially boyfriends or else they face the wrath of jealous girlfriends. FORCED? So what? Just call me a sadist but at least I have the dinner to make me sleep at nyte! SATISFIED. Haha.

So the joke falls on me this year. No date and extremely broke. Im honestly annoyed that walter have to be in camp on that day instead. Although I may NOT look like I am but I REALLY REALLY AM ! I loved what we did last year. So touched when he made me the first handmade gift. Half a dozen of white lilies and a love song dedication at Harry's Bar made the topping even more sweeter. Dreamingly......sigh......

***SNAP BACK TO REALITY ZAN***

Whatever it is we made a pact not to celebrate it this year. Just like Christmas. Just like New Year. I think celebrating it a week earlier or later are just not the same.

On Tuesday, February 14, 2006, Valentine's day, u will never spot Zan at the following places:

-Esplanade
-Orchard
-night safari
-sentosa
-botanical gardens
-Suntec (couples tend to hang out there)
-All cinemas in Singapore
-all beaches in Singapore
-Public transport. (I will be wearing shades. Im allergic to the sight of couples with bouquet of flowers acting all lovey-dovey.)


Till then do not buy me flowers cuz u pity me. Im not dead yet.

Me took this pix off xiaxue's blog.

Im fuming mad jealous over her bling bling makes me blind hp. aarghh..and she got it done for free?!?

haha my phone have scratches and dents and bumps and everything that is to uglify a phone. Blame me for my lack of care and my buttery fingers. Everything i touch literary turns to ash! HAH!

Nonetheless i love my phone to bits! Afterall its my dream phone...like everything else even though it ugly its still my baby k!

Till then...im saving up to have mine decorated too...any donations will be gratefully accepted! ;)

Yearn turns to Anger, Anger turns to Hate.

I have a confession; I suck at being a half Chinese. Being born and bred half-half isnt as merry-merry as it should be. My friends keep saying wah im so lucky and stuff but to me its all shit! Do I embrace my Chinese roots? Hell yeah but my parents (esp mum!) seems to be ashamed of it. She said Chinese people do this lah Chinese people do that lah all the bull she dun believe. Eh coming out of her own cheena mouth. Partially embarrassing and hilarious I gotta admit. Lol. Needless to say I dont know Jack about Chinese customs.

My "reunion dinner" was a bowl of fried noodles. Shared with walter. Filled with taugeh. AArrgh! I detest taugeh! More than Zhang Zi Yi! Or Zi Yi Zhang!
Babe if u wanna do the American thing, pick an American name lah. Like Jessica/Kate/Ashlee Zhang or something. Bleurgh!

Blah Blah blah so I believe/assume everyone have already known or understand how dysfunctional my family is so I do not wanna tax anyone by repeating what i have said last year abt Chinese New Year. To recap, last year and this year its STILL the same!! Im still angst im still broke. (oh btw I think Chinese ppl are more generous with their ang pows! True right?)

So on behalf of my family, I wanna wish all Chinese out there a happy prosperous new year. And when I mean prosperous I mean earning big bucks by means of work or lottery (they deserves it, all the queue and endless disappointments! hehe!)
And then share the love....................................

"western beauty" - Marcia Cross

VERSUS


"oriental charm" - Gong li

Both women in her 40s. Still gorgeous still talented. Bree has always been my fav desperate housewife. what a waste she didnt won any award despite being nominated cuz she deserves one. Be my mummy Bree?!?!?!?!?!?!

Gong li has been around for years but me never ever took notice of her. However after seeing her in Memoirs i was enchanted. By her beauty and her acting skills of course! She's the epitome of a physicotic (right spelling??) bitch! haha. Be my mentor Hatsumomo!?!??!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/?v=iQLm6YMBuPM

ok guys check this out! its a lil m18 but there is moral behind the story ok! it may take a while to download but it all worth it!

enjoy!

Zan feeling satisfied after eating a feast at Ghandi's! Yum yum....









so trigger-happy me took this at Little India. It was the opening of Apollo restaurant new branch...there was a mile long (haha well it looks like it) of congratulatory flowers outside the restaurant. There must be some very happy florist out there! haha...ka-ching!

Ritz apple strudel for dessert!!! The strawberry's equally delicious!!!

so at nyte we had a wonderful dinner under the stars!!! haha...ok we actually went to bishan park to eat maggie for dinner..walter had these camp stuff he got from ns...haha...so we decided it'll be undeniably romantic to eat like cavemen..haha...survival ok!!!








haha me trying to light up the fire..aaarghhh...i think if i join survivor i'll confirm die from starvation...

after dinner we played sparklers and i felt i was transported back to the days when im still young and there is nothing in the world i won't do to trade back my youth.......sigh..........

Fark my school's on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha...kidding lah....it was a fire drill and it came with faux smoke and all that jazz...its actually quite fun lah cuz we did all the works thats needed to make the fire so believable so we screamed and screamed and packed our bags and ran for our dear life!! haha....well something like that lah....so among all the drama i had the time(like always) to take this beautiful pix of Becky! haha..and since we've already packed our bags our tutor actually dismissed us for the day! hah! sweet!

so here's what happened a few days ago which made me feel really guilty.

i was at the bus interchange waiting for my bus when i saw her. (no...not the other HER estar! haha) She was a close friend of mine in secondary school. Were very close for 3 years when we eventually move away from each other. I didnt fancy her lifestyle then and till now i dun. I shall call her R. here if i may ya. So what happened was i didnt saw her initially so i sat at this sit beside her. When i eventually did recognize her, she saw me too and i think she gave me a faint smile. i gave her a weird look and turn my head away. i was too shocked for words. i didnt turn back and i totally ignore her the entire ride. i could sense her awkwardness but i could not even muster a "Hello how are you"....

aaaarghhh...what am i supposed to do then? we didnt fight and break up..we just went our seperate ways naturally. last i heard she got married and had a baby...its not that im like so proud or wat but it just seemed so hard to even ask her how her life is u know? we had a past...maybe the past just stays in the past ya?
however this does not stopped me from feeling extremely ashamed of myself.

here's my 2 cents worth on this movie;

I went to the movie with high expectation as im a fan of Jennifer Weiner (author of the book of the same name). However it all fall flat. The movie is too long and whiney and the actors are not expressive enough. Who said Diaz can act? humphh! Its like Jennifer Aniston in Derailed. Stick to ur day job and just make us laugh babes. Oh did i mention Diaz has a great body? sigh...those who just wanna watch her half naked most of the time i strongly recommend this show. The only saving grace of the show is by this old granny whom i dunno the name. No not their grandma lah. Its this bitchy granny...she's the one with great one-liners! hah...

If ur gonna pay $19 to watch the movie like i did then just buy the book lah.

2.5/5 popcorns. (1 for the bitchy nenek, 1 for the script, 0.5 for the showcase of hundreds of amazing shoes..)

a new year a new start eh!!

what fantabulous ride i've been thru the past few months.
sch's great me results not bad.
still broke still angst.
what made me start doing me blog again?
lets just say i have many friends on the web.
i want UPDATES and i wanna give them my updates.
i miss them lah.........
(yes my NP gangbang...haha...)

Keep in touch yeah!!!

=)